March 2012
0 posts
If humans were animal memes
Don’t be too serious. Laugh more. Click here.
At the midnight premiere.
Employee at theater: Um, ma'am you can't enter the theater with those arrows.
Me: And why not?
Employee: Because it's a danger to everyone else. You could accidentally hurt someone.
Me: Do you know who I am?
Employee: Um -
Me: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM KATNISS FREAKING EVERDEEN.
Employee: I don't care who you are, you can't take those in.
Me: FIRE IS CATCHING!
Employee: But -
Me: AND IF WE BURN
Employee: Wh -
Me: YOU BURN WITH US.
Employee:
Me: Don't make me use these arrows.
aintasuperhero:
nehzoomey:
how do 90% of people on tumblr even go outside without being offended by a blade of grass or something
some people don’t have grass where they live, check ur privilege
February 2012
My mother and I were changing the words to Adele's...
Mom: Kristie, what soda do you want, Pepsi?
Me: Yeah... Wait. NEVER MIND I WANT SOME MOUNTAIINN DEWWW.
*few minutes later*
Me: Ma, which vegetable do you want?
Mom: I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST BROCCOLI TOOOOOOO.
*few minutes later*
Mom: Hey, get out the list.
Me: why... So we DON'T FORGET MEAT, I BEG
Mom: I'LL REMEMBER CAUSE YOU SAID
Me: SOMETIMES WE GROCERY SHOP AND SOMETIMES WE EAT OUT INSTEAD
Mom: *pretends to sob*
Me: Three words. Eight letters. Say it and I'm yours.
Him: I got food.
Me: Close enough
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: PORN?
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
Watchhigh-wastedwh0res:
barbie-island:
realcertified:
asdfghjkleslie:
taylorheiland:
iamnotlevante:
slypeezy:
nathoisking:
mhm see this girl?
she dead
LMFAO!!!!!
WHITE PEOPLE
hahahaha
What terrible friends…. they’re just sitting there like, “oh fuck. *stares at her drowning in her own cake*”
s/o to the girl eating on the right. you’re the truth! lmfao.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
...
What is going through my mind while watching...
proudfilmnerd:
When the boy dies….
When I see Zac…
when he makes out with the chick….
'satan' music: don't kill yourself, you're worth everything, fuck everyone else, do what makes you happy, I'll be with you, you are fucking awesome just the way you are
'normal' music: bitch ass money sex fuck cock it and blow it guns shoot dat nigga down money ass sex
Watch
Fangirl 1: alskjdhlkjh
Fangirl 2: lasdljkhklñ!
Fangirl 1: OJJHASLJUGKJ!
Fangirl 2: LALJKHJHDHLH!!
Fangirl 1: OMG! I KNOW, RIGHT!?
manosukestoned420:
omfg i told my little brother that using the word “homo” as an insult isnt nice and noW HES ON XBOX LIVE AND HE KEEPS YELLING “YOU FREAKING HETEROSEXUALS” OMFG
I like how everyone complains when something new...
and I think Karp is sitting in front of his computer, clicks on Save changes and whispers:
The adventure of Niall Horan
iblamehoran:
some1likelou:
iadoreonedirectionx:
nakedwithharreh:
Niall got tired and decided to ride his unicorn.
Wrong way Niall….
There you go!
fucking pissing myself. i laugh’d so hard at the last one.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Sweet baby jesus.
wakes up late: yolo
fails test: yolo
embarrasses self publicly: yolo
loses virginity: yolo
murders someone: yolo
is on americas most wanted: yolo
goes to jail: yolo
is on death row: yolo
gets executed: yolo
